To spank or not to spank…that is a “hot topic” question these days!
This morning even the crew over at NBC’s Today Show weighed in on the subject of spanking children!
I found those mothers comments interesting. My comments back to them; never spank in anger, yelling can be more hurtful than a spanking and don’t compare a teaching moment with a child to a teaching moment with an adult employee.
In my experience spanking has it’s place when accompanied by loving discipline…and it does work.
At age five I told my father a lie. He knew it, I knew it and I was caught red handed. Although I was very young I remember everything about that lie…and everything about what happened after that lie. I got a good old fashioned spanking, with a belt.
Some reading this may be horrified by that. Don’t be. My father was (and is) a great father. Upon being caught in my lie I was sent to my room. I sat and waited for a long time. He came in, took off his belt and told me he was going to spank me. He asked me if I knew why I was getting spanked. I remember looking up at him and saying, “Because I lied to you.” He replied yes and then he gave me two spanks. I began to cry, he got down on my level, looked me right in the eye and told me he loved me. He then said, “Tracey, do not ever lie to me again, lying is wrong.” He then hugged me and I had to stay alone in my room for the rest of the night. I cried myself to sleep.
I remember being devastated…not because he spanked me, but because I lied. I knew how much being lied to by me hurt my dad and that it hurt him because he loved me so much. I promised myself I would never lie to him again.
Flash forward eleven years. I was 16, I went somewhere I was not supposed to go with a boy. Upon arriving home my dad said he wanted to talk to me. He looked me in the eye and asked me where I had been that night. I thought a moment…I thought about lying, but remembered that spanking and that promise to myself. I told him the truth, I got grounded. But he told me he loved me and was proud of me for telling him the truth.
I wonder what trouble that grounding kept me out of? I do know that incident at age 16 made an impact on the remainder of my teenage years. It was a reminder to me to do what my parents told me to do because I didn’t want to be placed in a position where I would be tempted to lie.
So, do I believe in spanking? When it’s done right, like my daddy did it – yes. It can teach a child, especially a strong willed one, a valuable lesson in just who’s in charge. It teaches love.
Have my own children ever been spanked? Yes.
Just a couple of weeks ago I overheard my son tell his friend, “I’d never lie to my dad – he has this wooden stick that hurts, lying is bad.”