New Mom Territory, Instruction Needed

Laughter and revelry fill my warm, cozy home for a few days when we have college guests. Not so much more than when other guests are here. Just sweeter somehow.

She was home again. My daughter. My “I’m a freshman in college” daughter. Who is more woman than girl now. Who is more reflective and forward looking now.

This is new territory for me. Territory I knew was coming, yet as with any challenging journey no matter how well prepared one thinks one is…there are surprises along the way.

“Mom…I am so happy. I love my friends and miss them so, so much when we are apart.”  Smiling at that proclamation I silently wonder, has she said that to her friends about me? Probably not as often as I’d suppose.

But that’s ok. That means I have done my job of mothering and preparing well.

I am propelled back to the three-year-old daughter, being dropped off in a new church classroom, the easy way she hugged me goodbye and bravely walked into a new room, not knowing a soul. She moved forward into that new territory bravely, I wondered why she forged on without even a glance backward.

Then, and now, I know it is because she is content wherever she is because she knows she is not alone. She has been taught that. By her father and me.

I hear her in her room when she chats with her Heavenly Father; I have seen journal entries she has chosen to share. I have seen serenity, peace and tranquility revealed when she puts pencil to sketch pad.

Still…there is that part of me that wants to hold on to the girl I was given and keep her all to myself.

Heavy sigh.

Oh what must my Heavenly Father have in store for this amazing daughter of mine? I pray He gives me the ability to face her future with as much grace and strength as she possesses.

A contented smile grows in gratefulness for the gift of motherhood and the well worn leather map that I use to chart the course each day – His word. Without it I’d be lost and lonely.

Comments

  1. says

    I think your feelings are natural. And as long as you are aware that you need to watch how much space you tread on – I think you’ll be just fine.

    I dread that day, by the way. 🙂 It’s coming far too quickly.

    • Tracey says

      Thanks for your kind words Dionna, and that day will arrive faster than you can imagine! Make memories, don’t sweat the small stuff and have FUN with em! Blessings to you!

  2. Samara :) says

    To the most wonderful mother I could have ever asked for,

    I am honored and touched by this post and so thankful to have a role model in you. The only reason I have ever been able to “forge on” is because I have been poured into and cherished, disciplined and loved on by the two most supportive and Godly people I have ever known, my amazing parents.

    And just so you know, I do miss you (and dad and Westley) so so much when I am not with you. I am really looking forward to being home soon to be with you every day again 🙂

    I love you momma <3

    -Samara

    • Tracey says

      Oh my sweet girl…you are making my eyes leak! I love you so much! You are my Sunshine and His Sonshine! ;0)

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